Define "Homework"

I obviously neglected to read the entire parenting syllabus before my kids became teenagers. In fact, the older they became, the more lax I was in reading up on all their developmental milestones. I didn't start out that way.

I read "What to Expect When You're Expecting" and "Your Pregnancy Week by Week" from cover to cover for both of my pregnancies. Given that my daughter was 7 months old when I became pregnant with her brother, this was quite a rapid re-read for me. (I rarely read anything twice -- except for recipes).

I consumed parenting books like they were bloomin' onions and beer (favorites of mine) for their first six or seven years. How does each child track with their developmental milestones? I wasn't so concerned with them keeping pace with the Jones', but I was vigilant to ensure that hubby and I do nothing to impede their progress.

Nothing -- even teenager stories from friends whose kids are further along the development continuum -- prepared me for going through middle school again.

The Teenage Brain has moved into our home. Here's a recent example:
Home from school at 5:00 p.m.
Son: "Hey mom -- can I go play tennis with (insert friend's name here)?
Mom: "What homework do you have?"
Son: "None."
Mom: "Are you sure? Nothing due tomorrow?"
Son: "Nope."
Mom: "Okay. You can go, but you have to be home by 7:30 pm."
Son: "Thanks, mom! You're the best!"

Fast forward to 9:00 p.m.

Mom: "Hey son, go upstairs and take a shower before you go to bed."
Son: "I can't go to bed now. I have to study for my social studies test."
Mom: "When is the social studies test?"
Son: "Tomorrow." (said with an earnest tone)
Mom: "TOMORROW? Are you kidding me? You told me you didn't have any homework tonight!"
Son: "I don't have HOMEWORK tonight. I just have to study." (again, completely earnest; no sly tone)
Mom: "What part of "study" isn't homework, son?"
Son: "Homework is an assignment that is due. Studying is just reading the book and notes."
Mom: "What about WordMasters and compilation units?"
Son: "Those are homework."

Mom: "So how much time do you think you will need to study tonight in order to get an A on the test tomorrow?"
Son: "I don't need to get an A on the test. All I need is an 88 and I'll still keep my A average."

Mom inhales deeply and exhales slowly. Why is hubby out of town right now?

Mom: "Son, we have two problems here. First, studying IS homework. I feel you misled me this afternoon so you could play tennis. Second, it doesn't matter what your average will be, you are expected to get an A on your social studies test. You are smart and capable. You have 50 minutes to study, get a shower, brush your teeth and get in bed."

Son: "But mom..."

Mom: "No 'A', no tennis. You are good at math -- you can figure out how to accomplish all this in the next 50 minutes."

AGGGGHHHHH!!!
No one told me that investigative interview techniques would be required to get full information from my kid.

Another lesson learned... good thing he's adorable!

Campaign Fatigue Already?

Great TV choices today... the sitcom re-runs and political pundits rehashing campaign soundbites.

Switch the channel and we must listen to all the well-scripted political sound bites intended to distract the "average American" from the real issues of today: jobs at living wages, health care, adequate housing, violence against women and children, and economic development. It seems like the extreme conservatives are chasing the lowest common denominator for votes -- what is lacking in thoughtful public policy is made up with emotional appeals, moral imposition, and demonizing all objectors.

The Greeks taught us much about debates, philosophy, drama and mathematics. Rather than building on that tradition, today's political environment is comprised of name calling, corporate interests reign supreme, scandal, and more voo doo economics.

Perhaps if more people gave up their political apathy just once and went to the polls, real debate of the issues would emerge. My grandma was very clear about voting: "When I was born, I did not have the right to vote. Women worked very hard and endured a lot of abuse to gain the right to vote for all women. You better appreciate it and vote every chance you can." I've been an active voter now for a quarter of a century (did I sneak votes at age 10?) and I take my children to the polls, too. They are excited about the right to do this.

Sadly, people in some countries (and Florida) are denied the right to vote or do not have free and fair elections. I know I sound cynical. But I am also incredibly optimistic about this country. We have a resilient system of government that endures changing political tides, economic cycles, and yes, even scandal and corruption. The voter turnout across this country is pathetic. I urge those who do not believe their vote will make a difference to just try it once. Go to the polls, dangle a chad or press the electronic ticket and see how you feel -- it is an enormous gift. And if you don't make your opinion known at the polls, don't worry, others who do not have your best interests in mind will be happy to let their vote count twice!

May flowers bring more than Pilgrims...

The kids are not allowed to post a countdown to the last day of school, but many parents are doing the counting for them (yes, that would be me!). Year end projects and final exams coupled with Spring Fever make an exhausting combination. Then toss in the end of baseball season, ballet/jazz rehearsals and performances, award ceremonies... it all adds up to schedule conflicts and the "Who's on First" game.

And pollen season is also gearing up... with itchy eyes that test waterproof makeup and noses that run faster than an Olympian... Why are my eyes so red -- have I been crying? drinking too much? nope, it's allergy season!

We went to school to see our children receive awards for their academic success. This has become an annual ritual that we all enjoy and appreciate. The kids work very hard throughout the year and forgo some "fun stuff" because "school comes first."

This year's awards, however, were particulary special to us as parents. Our daughter earned the "Citizenship Award" for her leadership, kindness, and looking out for others. Lots of kids earn strong grades (something we value and expect), and I'll continue to honor and recognize them.

But this Citizenship Award is particularly special -- it recognizes the traits that are so important to our civil society. As a society we don't really recognize positive character and integrity. We hold it as a standard, yet we've become cynical and come to expect self-centered, greedy behavior as the norm. White collar scandals, marital scandals, and street crime are covered in every media form. People who go above and beyond don't receive the same type of recognition -- it isn't considered "newsworthy." The truth is, it doesn't sell ads.

I am so pleased that our children's school decides to hold up Citizenship as an attribute worthy of recognition. I know that my son is motivated to follow in his sister's footsteps and win the award next year -- how's that for healthy competition?

peace,

Marina