Thursday, May 01, 2008

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions...

Our I-797 expires on May 29th. We received notice from our adoption agency, CCAI, that it is time to decide whether we want to do the "free" renewal of our paperwork with Homeland Security or let it expire and start over closer to when we are likely to be matched with our child/ren in China. The "free" renewal means that we only have to pay to be fingerprinted (again) by the FBI, update local criminal background checks, homestudy update, updated physicals, and income and employment verifications.
The renewal is good for another 18 months. Then we will need to renew again, as our match time is looking like another 24 months.

Upon reflecting on this seemingly never-ending wait and anticipation for our family to grow, I've learned something about myself: I'm not as patient as I thought.
We've been actively pursuing adoption for 26 months... had we known then that it would be a 4-5 year process, I don't believe we would have commenced the process.

Lots of factors go into this... long-running dreams, expectations, love of parenting...

But we must also facts as they present themselves and adapt as circumstances change.
With a heavy heart, we've decided to rescind our dossier from the China adoption program. We're not getting any younger and the uncertainty in timing has just pushed us beyond our limits.

Katrina and Alexander are disappointed with this decision; they would really like to have siblings. And they would be great "big sister" and "big brother"!

While the reality of this decision sinks in, we are engrossed in all the end of school year activities and baseball and ballet performances...

So ends our adoption journey... not as we had planned, but perhaps as it was meant to be.


1 comment:

epin said...

My heart goes out to you and your family. Please keep in touch with the CCAI LID group!